วันเสาร์ที่ 31 ธันวาคม พ.ศ. 2554

If jealousy and jealous feelings are a problem in your relationship or marriage


If jealousy and jealous feelings are a problem in your relationship or marriage...                                
Could It Really Be Possible That These Simple Secrets Could Help
You Overcome Your Pain, Humiliation, Embarrassment and Constant Struggle With Jealousy and Help You Vanish It From Your Relationship and Life Forever?

The answer for thousands of couples (including us) has been a definitive YES...

Answer these questions below and decide for yourself if these simple secrets will help you as well...


Dear Friend,
You're here because either you or your partner is jealous and this jealousy is painful enough in your relationship and life that you're finally ready to do something about it.

We're relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins and you may not know us yet, but we're experts on helping people like you overcome jealousy before it ruins your relationship and life.

We created this website because we want to help you get rid of the jealousy that's causing so much pain, misery and uncertainty between you and the most important person in your life.

In order to best help you do that, we'd like to ask you a few questions about jealousy and your relationship.

This will only take a moment and don't worry...

These questions and your answers are for your eyes ONLY as a tool for discovering just how BIG the jealousy problem is for you in your relationship and what your next steps are for overcoming it.

So, take a deep breath, relax and answer the following questions as openly and honestly as you can...
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Have you ever accused your partner being with someone else--even if they adamantly deny it?
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Have you ever lost a relationship in the past because of jealousy?
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Are you insecure, suspicious or not trusting of your partner or spouse?
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Have you ever wondered whether this jealousy and lack of trust is truly justified or not? 
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Have you ever checked up on your partner by looking through their cell phone, computer, email, purse, briefcase etc. to see who they may be communicating with that you don't know about?
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Have you ever accused your partner of dressing too provocatively or too nice for the occasion? 
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Have you ever accused your partner of "flirting" or being too friendly with someone else?
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Has your partner ever suggested they might consider leaving the relationship because of your jealousy?
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Do you ever call your partner when you're feeling anxious just to make sure they're not with someone else or doing something they shouldn't be doing? 
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Do you ever feel that your partner is looking at and paying too much attention to other attractive people when you go out?
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Have you or your partner ever lied about where you were, who you were with or what you had been doing to prevent another fight or argument?
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Do you find that you're still angry or upset about being cheated on either in this relationship or one in your past? 
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Have you ever thought that because of your jealousy, you might actually be going a little crazy?
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Have you ever wished you could talk to your partner about your feelings without them blowing up and getting upset?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, then your jealousy is much bigger than what would be considered "normal."
The "green-eyed monster" called jealousy can and will destroy your relationship or marriage if you don't do something to stop it in its tracks.

If you're at the end of your rope because of jealousy, hang on a minute because...
There IS a way to eliminate the shame, insecurity, and self- doubt.
You CAN overcome the jealousy, get your life back and enjoy the healthy relationships you deserve... And it's easier than you think!
How do we know this?

In the early days of our relationship--long before we were highly successful Breakthrough Relationship Coaches--we had our own struggles with jealousy.

We've been there, maybe exactly where you are right now. In fact, things got so bad, we didn't think our relationship would survive. It tore us apart-- made us question ourselves, we felt unloved and it caused a great deal of unnecessary turmoil.
We don't know how jealousy comes up for you in your relationship or marriage-- but in our particular situation jealousy came at the worst possible moments...
For example...

We would be out at a restaurant, a social gathering, a party or a get-together at a friend's house and Susie would see Otto talking to someone else--especially another beautiful woman--and her whole body would start to tense up, her heart would start beating faster (and not in a good way), her mind would start racing and then she'd start seeing and imagining the worst possible scenarios in her mind.
It wasn't that Susie didn't trust Otto.
She did.
It's just that these jealous thoughts were like scenes from a bad movie that she couldn't get out of her mind and the worst part is that they would seemingly come out of nowhere and just "blind" her to the point that this was all she could think about and focus on.
Her jealous thoughts were enough to drive any sane person crazy.

When these thoughts would come up, she would start saying things to herself like... "He's going to leave me for someone else--someone younger, more beautiful, more fun, sexier, more outgoing, more 'spiritual'."
You name it and she thought it-- and as we just said a moment ago--it very well could have totally ruined our love and relationship.
Jealousy was so intense that neither one of us could really be who we were and this was awful. 

Otto was always trying to reign himself in and not really be his normal, outgoing self when we would go out.

He didn't feel like he could talk to as many people as he would like in social situations out of fear of how Susie might react.

Because of the tension that the jealousy created for the two of us, we also weren't nearly as connected as we would have liked and our intimacy suffered.

Communication was strained, we both felt like we were always walking on eggshells and there was even an underlying tension when we had sex (after all, it's hard to have deep connected, passionate sex with someone who is always accusing you of doing something that you're NOT doing.)

We could have split over this but the good news is, we didn't...
http://www.nomorejealousy.com/images/ottosn2.jpgWe found a solution for these painful, agonizing feelings!
We discovered the exact steps to take to save our relationship and remove the JEALOUSY out of our lives forever. And you can too!
Now at parties, get-togethers with friends or social gatherings, Otto is the one coming to find Susie -- wanting to be with her, and she's able to have a perfectly fine time NOT watching what he's doing or keeping tabs on him.

As Otto says--"This makes ME want to seek her out and be with her more than anyone at any party we are at... totally changing our dynamic at social gatherings completely."
We're two people (like you) who've lived through this. We struggled with the apprehension, heart-break and uncertainty in our relationship.

But you know what?
Our relationship used to be filled with jealousy and now we have a close, connected and incredibly passionate relationship that we wouldn't trade for anything.

We ended our miserable nightmare and so can you.
Since you're reading this, we believe you're already much smarter than most people and ready to get rid of the unhappiness in your life.
Many people would have already clicked off this site.
But you're still here, because you hear that small voice - the one inside that whispers to you every single day. The same one that keeps you awake at night saying...
You were meant to have a life FREE Of JEALOUSY!
 
Why Jealousy isn't your fault
and what you can do about it...

Maybe your partner has given you plenty of reasons to cause you to doubt their love, honesty, faithfulness and desire to be with you--and maybe they haven't.

Maybe you've been in other relationships where you've had a partner or spouse who's lied to you or cheated on you.

Maybe you've seen firsthand relationships (maybe your parents) or marriages of people you know, love and care about be totally destroyed because of lies, cheating or an affair or infidelity.

Regardless of whether any of those things are true for you...

If you want to know why being jealous is such a huge issue in relationship today, you don't have to look any further than your favorite media outlet.

We are all being constantly bombarded in movies, television, books, magazines, newspapers, emails, music, and on the internet with the message that everyone lies and cheats--especially in committed relationships and marriages.
The airwaves and other media outlets are filled with real and made- up stories of infidelity and betrayal.

If you hear enough of those media messages over and over (and ALL of us have), it's only natural that you're going to start putting a question mark in front of everything your partner says or does. You might even be tempted to lie or cheat because it seems that "everybody's" doing it and it's somehow acceptable.
Because of all of these messages (plus maybe what happened in your past), it's no wonder you have all these jealous thoughts that you can't seem control!
So, what can you do to get these jealous thoughts and feelings under control?
Here's a technique we want to teach you right now that can help you stop jealous thoughts in 3 minutes or less.
The "3-Minute Jealous
Thought Stopper"

 
We created this technique to help our Relationship Breakthrough Coaching clients get some "instant relief" whenever those jealous thoughts rear their ugly heads (which is usually at the worst possible moments).

We call it...

The "3 Minute Jealous Thought Stopper."

You'll want to use this when your jealous thoughts are creeping in and running your life--and you feel out of control.

Remember, jealous thoughts are a habit and they can be changed.
Here's how to do the "3 Minute Jealous Thought Stopper"...
 
1st-- SIT-- Sit in a quiet place. (The bathroom will do).

2. SETTLE--  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, bringing your breath into your feet so that you feel grounded and connected to the earth. Feel yourself slowing down and your breathing deepen. (Maybe 30 seconds)

3. AWARENESS--  Come into awareness of your jealous thoughts in this moment. (What exactly are you thinking? You might even want to ask yourself... "I'm thinking that_______)." And then fill in the blank with what you're thinking. No judging!

4. ASK-- Ask yourself if you know your jealous thoughts to be true--absolutely true. What evidence do you have to support these thoughts? Whether you think your thoughts are true or not true, bring your attention to your heart or gut area and
feel the sensations in your body. (What are you feeling in your body? Is there tightness, a big knot, emptiness, heaviness?)

5. ALLOW-- Allow your sensations to be there without judging them and breathe into that area of the body. (If you feel heavy in your heart area, breathe into that heaviness until the sensation softens. If you feel a "knot" in your gut area, breathe into that knot until it starts to loosen.)

6. REPLACE-- Replace the jealous "movie" running in your head to one that is more in alignment with what you want in your life--because the reality is that both outcomes are possible.
Here's why the "3 Minute Jealous Thought Stopper" works and an example of how to use it...
If you know that your jealous thoughts aren't true but you see yourself being cheated on or your partner leaving you anyway, replace that movie with a favorite memory from the past with your partner or special moments between the two of you that are happening in the present or could happen in the future.

Here's why this incredibly simple technique of "running a new or different movie" in your mind when jealous thoughts come up is so amazing...
It's an absolute scientifically-proven fact that your brain cannot tell the difference between seeing something that's real and seeing something that you only imagine in your mind's eye.
Why else does your mouth actually salivate when you imagine yourself cutting open a fresh lemon and opening your mouth to take a big bite of it?
It's your body's reaction to something that you only imagined.
The same is true of jealousy.
When you imagine your partner wanting to be with someone else (or whatever keeps you up at night), you are running and re-running that movie until it becomes very real to you.
If you want to change this movie that is manufactured in your brain, our jealous thought stopper can actually dissolve it--and help you to stop being jealous.
The truth is...jealousy is a habit and it's a habit that can be broken.

For 21 days, every time your jealous thoughts come up, do this technique and you won't believe how much ease you will begin to feel.
This is one of the techniques that Susie used to help her put an end to jealousy that was between us and we know it can help you too.
 Prepared by SRS...

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