Motivation Tips
Directed Self-Confidence
By:Peter Fisher
Did you know you can have high self-confidence?
Many of us don't believe that we can have self-confidence and go
through life feeling that we are just 'not good enough', or worse still that we
are 'impostors'. We become highly skilled at convincing ourselves that we don't
really matter and that we will never amount to anything.
This lack of self-confidence comes at a high price. The fact is
that although many people are lacking in self-esteem and feel powerless to do
anything about it, they have created the situation for themselves. This
self-made poor self esteem needs to be resolved urgently; it affects emotional
and physical well-being and really reduces the quality of your life.
Here is how you can move to what I call 'Directed Self-Confidence'
and to help you get started think about these questions:
To whom or to what are you comparing yourself?
When you think you are not good enough to whom or to what are you
comparing yourself?
What sort of question is that you might say. OK then I have an
action for you: The next time you start to think "I'm not good
enough", ask yourself: "what exactly does 'good enough' look like?
"? Be specific; to what or whom, did you compare yourself when you reached
the conclusion that you are not good enough?
Comparing yourself with other people is not the way forward. All
you see of other people is their external facade, you have no idea what goes on
in their minds. So the next time you fall into this trap, take a deep breath
and say "I will only be who I am and only compare myself to how I wish to
be". I like and respect myself; I am becoming the person I want to be
every day.
This is the way to 'directed self-confidence'.
Do you ever find yourself saying 'nobody likes me'? The feeling
that everyone in the world is against you is no laughing matter, but you can
get beyond that feeling too. When you meet new people do you dislike all of
them or are most of them OK? Probably the latter and if so then the reverse is
also likely to be true.
Most people you meet will think you're OK!
Make it even easier by making a conscious effort to think that
everyone you meet, you will like. And when you like people you tend to be liked
in return. This technique of directed self-confidence rubs off on those around
you and you are going to be to always meeting people who like you!
Wouldn't it be wonderful?
Do you find yourself always predicting the worst possible outcome
for every new situation you come up against? Are you guilty of 'awfulizing'
most situations - you know how it goes: "wouldn't it be awful if..."
Next time you find yourself in this frame of mind just take a
moment and try this: "wouldn't it be wonderful if..."
This approach to directed self-confidence may just free you to get
on with the wonderful things in your life!
Directed Self-Confidence is something that anyone can adopt. As
Shakespeare once said "Assume a virtue and it shall be yours".
Self-confidence can be assured by just adopting a positive attitude and this
can be life changing. If you don't feel confident at any time all you need to
do is act confidently, the pretense of being confident will quickly make you
feel more confident.
Peter Fisher is Coach and Webmaster for http://www.Your-Career-Change.com where you can
see how using the right set of tools creates the right results for a
sustainable career change.
Fears and Phobias Defined
By:Peter Fisher
Phobias are the most common psychiatric illness among women of all ages, and
the second most common illness among men older than 25. Phobias are thought to
be caused by a combination of biological factors and life events, much in the
way other disorders (such as diabetes or heart disease) are influenced by a
person's genes and lifestyle. Phobias are more than extreme fear, they are
irrational fear.
Phobias are the most easily treated of all psychological issues,
with successful treatment being achieved in some cases within a few hours. They
are seen as maladaptive learned responses which are able to be corrected by
learning new ways of responding. The general symptoms of phobias include the
following: Feelings of panic, dread, horror, or terror; recognition that the
fear goes beyond what is considered normal and is out of proportion to the
actual threat of danger; reactions that are automatic and uncontrollable, and
seem to take over the person's thoughts; rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath,
trembling, and an overwhelming desire to escape the situation. Extreme measures
are often taken to avoid the feared object or situation.
Sometimes they start in childhood for no apparent reason; sometimes
they emerge after a traumatic event; and sometimes the develop from an attempt
to make sense of an unexpected and intense anxiety or panic (e. Some
individuals can simply avoid the subject of their fear and suffer only
relatively mild anxiety over that fear. When the anxiety has gone, remind
yourself that you have survived, and have not gone mad, lost control or died.
When and where to seek further help If your phobias are interfering with your
ability to lead a full, normal life and you don't make any progress in
challenging them yourself. If you are experiencing a lot of anxiety or
distress, and you seem to be feeling like this often. If you are avoiding
situations that matter or if you suffer from overwhelming
blushing/trembling/sweating in social situations or feel that you lack social
skills, you may be more prone. Studies have also shown that the occurrence or
anticipation of stressful life events, anxiety in childhood, over-protective
parental behaviour and substance abuse are common among people with panic
disorder.
Treatment exists to help people with phobias and panic disorder,
and research into new therapies and techniques continues. During therapy, a
person can slowly learn to become comfortable with the situation or object
through exposure treatment or reconditioning. If the object of fear is easy to
avoid, people with phobias may not feel the need to seek treatment.
Most individuals understand that they are suffering from an
irrational fear, but are powerless to override their initial panic reaction.
Even professional entertainers can experience cold sweat, nausea, vomiting, and
light-headedness when they step out in front of an audience. Group therapy has
also been successful in providing social phobics with a supportive circle of
people who can empathize with their experience and serve as a significant first
rebellion against the very nature of the disease.
Psychologists have categorized as many as 500 phobias, and
according to the estimates of some health professionals, as many as 50 million
individuals in the United States suffer from some kind of phobia.
Glossophobia, a fear of public speaking, is one of the most common
of phobias and one that must be overcome by many individuals who find
themselves in the position of having to make a speech to a group of people for
business, professional, or educational reasons.
Phobias are in fact a fear of being afraid and demonstrate the
brain's ability to learn instantly, potentially a very effective survival
mechanism. If you are interested in finding out more about phobias and what you
can do to relieve them, they are listed alphabetically and indexed by their
definitions on the website.
Peter Fisher is an expert Author and webmaster for www.WAHM-Info.com
where you will find help with overcoming your fears and anxieties.
3 Reasons Why You Should Pursue Your Talent
By:Roxana Nunez
Do you have a dream or a wish you are afraid to try? Do you have a hidden
talent that you have abandoned feeling you are not good enough?
What is it going to take for you to start? Many people have talents
that are left untapped for fear of what others may think. You might know how to
play a musical instrument, sing, paint or write poetry. Then one day, one
person said something bad about that talent and it made you question your
ability. That seed took hold in your heart and soon you abandoned your gift
altogether.
I give you three reasons to go ahead:
1) Talent takes practice. If you play an instrument, you would
benefit from practicing, even if it is just for an hour a day. I once read
somewhere that if you study one hour a day, you become an expert in five years.
Practice what you love.
2) Your talent might keep disease away. Our talents are things that
we love to do. I don't know about you, when I do something I love, time stops
and stress vanishes. It is the same with any activity you love to do. Stress is
a mayor contributing factor in many illnesses like cancer and heart disease. Do
it for your health and your sanity.
3) The only person you should want to please is you. Always
remember that when a person expresses an opinion, it is about them and not
about you. Maybe that person admires you or envies you. Who knows why people
make comments. The important thing here is to keep it in perspective. If
someone hates your painting, it is about their inability to have a positive
experience with it. It has nothing to do with you. If you like it, that should
be enough.
I hope one of these observations will encourage you to pursuit your
passion.
Persistence..the Number
One Secret Of Being Successful
By:Frederick Brooker
If you strongly wish to succeed with anything in life, being persistent is
almost always vital to that success. It doesn’t matter whether it’s in
business, sporting activity or social life, persistency has an important role
to play. Without persistency, it is all too easy to give up, tell yourself
you’ll never master it and then go on to the next best thing.
The quality of persistency is something that has enabled man to
rise above all animals and succeed in so many areas.
If it wasn’t for persistency, the world would today be a much
poorer place than it now is. Have you ever thought that if it wasn’t for the
persistence of Edison we may not today have electric lighting? For years his
fellow scientists mocked his experiments to create an electric light bulb.
What was his reaction? He said that he hadn’t failed, he had
succeeded many times in discovering how not to make the light bulb work. But he
persistently carried on until one day, Bingo it worked! How many times must he
have felt like giving up, but no. His persistency won through in the end. What
elation he must have felt on that day. It had all been worthwhile! As Sir
Winston Churchill once said “Success is the ability to go from failure to
failure with no loss of enthusiasm”
Always be enthusiastic about things you want to achieve without
giving in. In another of Sir Winston Churchill’s famous speeches he said “Never
give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or
petty, never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense”.
So you see, throughout history mankind’s greatest achievements
would never have come about were it not for dogged persistence on the part of
the achievers. According to another well known phrase, “There is no gain
without pain”
Persistence and self discipline go hand in hand. You can’t’ have
one without the other.
Whatever it is you want to achieve, whatever goal you set yourself,
you cannot and will not succeed without those two elements of persistence and
self discipline. Whenever you’re working on your chosen subject, there will be
times when your enthusiasm wanes. You will feel that you do not wish to carry
on, you’re bored, and everything you try to do doesn’t seem to work. You want
to give up and try something else. That’s the time when your self discipline
has to “kick in” because if you do give up and then go onto something new,
you’ll find that you’ll be doing that over and over again. You’ll be hopping,
grasshopper like, from one project to the next and never getting anywhere. I
know I’ve been guilty of that myself in the past.
The world is full of talented people, some with brilliant ideas who
never achieve anything because they have lacked those two essential qualities
of self discipline and persistence. Sometimes we can recognize the lack of
those essential elements within ourselves. For instance….
Have you ever had a good (or even brilliant) idea about how to do
or improve something and then sat back and done nothing about it, only to find
that later on someone else has had the same idea, but who also had the self
discipline and persistence to do something about it and brought it into
reality, leaving you to say to yourself “But I thought of that ages ago”?
Recognize something like that in yourself? I know I do!
The qualities we’re talking about apply to every form of human endeavor both
great and small, whether it be to win over the person you love, in order for
them to become your life partner to much bigger tasks like defeating the
scourge of world terrorism. Persistence wins, OK!
If you strongly wish to succeed with anything in life, being
persistent is almost always vital to that success. It doesn’t matter whether
it’s in business, sporting activity or social life, persistency has an
important role to play. Without persistency, it is all too easy to give up,
tell yourself you’ll never master it and then go on to the next best thing.
The quality of persistency is something that has enabled man to
rise above all animals and succeed in so many areas.
If it wasn’t for persistency, the world would today be a much
poorer place than it now is. Have you ever thought that if it wasn’t for the
persistence of Edison we may not today have electric lighting? For years his
fellow scientists mocked his experiments to create an electric light bulb.
What was his reaction? He said that he hadn’t failed, he had
succeeded many times in discovering how not to make the light bulb work. But he
persistently carried on until one day, Bingo it worked! How many times must he
have felt like giving up, but no. His persistency won through in the end. What
elation he must have felt on that day. It had all been worthwhile! As Sir
Winston Churchill once said “Success is the ability to go from failure to
failure with no loss of enthusiasm”
Always be enthusiastic about things you want to achieve without
giving in. In another of Sir Winston Churchill’s famous speeches he said “Never
give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or
petty, never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense”.
So you see, throughout history mankind’s greatest achievements would never have
come about were it not for dogged persistence on the part of the achievers.
According to another well known phrase, “There is no gain without pain”
Persistence and self discipline go hand in hand. You can’t’ have
one without the other.
Whatever it is you want to achieve, whatever goal you set yourself,
you cannot and will not succeed without those two elements of persistence and
self discipline. Whenever you’re working on your chosen subject, there will be
times when your enthusiasm wanes. You will feel that you do not wish to carry
on, you’re bored, and everything you try to do doesn’t seem to work. You want
to give up and try something else. That’s the time when your self discipline
has to “kick in” because if you do give up and then go onto something new,
you’ll find that you’ll be doing that over and over again. You’ll be hopping,
grasshopper like, from one project to the next and never getting anywhere. I
know I’ve been guilty of that myself in the past.
The world is full of talented people, some with brilliant ideas who
never achieve anything because they have lacked those two essential qualities
of self discipline and persistence. Sometimes we can recognize the lack of
those essential elements within ourselves. For instance….
Have you ever had a good (or even brilliant) idea about how to do
or improve something and then sat back and done nothing about it, only to find
that later on someone else has had the same idea, but who also had the self
discipline and persistence to do something about it and brought it into
reality, leaving you to say to yourself “But I thought of that ages ago”?
Recognize something like that in yourself? I know I do!
The qualities we’re talking about apply to every form of human
endeavor both great and small, whether it be to win over the person you love,
in order for them to become your life partner to much bigger tasks like
defeating the scourge of world terrorism. Persistence wins, OK!
Should you never give up on anything, whatever the reason?
Clearly, the answer to that question is NO. Remember Winston Churchill’s
advice? You should never give in to anything except to convictions of good
sense.
Good sense is the other element that is needed in order to be
successful in any endeavor.
Do you know the story about Microsoft?
You know, of course that it is today one of the most successful and powerful
businesses that has ever existed. Did you know that before Microsoft ever came
into existence, Bill Gates and his business partner, Paul Allen, formed a
company named Traf-O-Data, which they ran for several years? They eventually
gave up on the idea for good reasons best known to themselves. They then formed
Microsoft. The rest, as they say, is history.
The lesson to be learned therefore is to always have self
discipline and persistence, but to temper that concept with good sense and if
necessary to try again with the knowledge you have gained from the previous
endeavor. That way, success will surely be yours.
Dear Mary...
What you wrote here in the blog is very inspiring and very very
true. I always knew my constant use of sarcasm was some sort of defense
mechanism and I knew that I am a very sensitive person and because of how
sarcastic I am people tend to think I'm evil or thick skinned which is far from
the truth. I have a lot of close friends and they all know how sarcastic I am
and I guess they learned to filter it out. It happened a lot that I had one of
my friend upset due to my excessive sarcasm. And I know that some people never
wanted to be friends because of my sarcasm. Many times people think I am trying
to disrespect them when I am being sarcastic which of course is
"again" far from the truth. The closer the person to me, the more
Sarcastic I would be. So the people I am sarcastic with the most are the people
I love the most and those are the people I hurt the most (pretty sadistic,
huh?!). However as I grew older (almost 30 now) I started following sarcasm
with things like "don't take it to heart" or "sorry I was
kidding" or "you know I love, right?" etc.... This new approach
was no magic stick but I noticed that people are less upset than they usually
would be. Because at least they understand I don't hate them or trying to be
disrespectful.
One friend recently confronted me (which is why I started reading
about my problem); he said that I use sarcasm to distract people away from
sensitive soul. It was not new news to me...I knew it all along, but it was the
first time someone confronted me. It made me think...Maybe I should
change...although sometimes I think that I would lose my sense of humour, that
I would end up being a boring person. Almost all my jokes are molded to being
sarcastic. I don't know... Anyways I will try to change...I am always thinking
that once I get married, I would drive my wife crazy with my sarcasm...Because,
I know, I would be spending so much time with her than I ever did with anyone
in my life... That is a lot of sarcasm for a sane person to handle....God be
with her :-)
How To Get Self
Confidence Help
By:howtogetmoreconfidence.com
Self confidence is a major issue with people today. Having confidence in
yourself is a huge factor in what kind of relationships you have, what kind of
job you can get, or anything else in life. It can be hard to find good self
confidence help so I though I would fix that.
When you are confident, you feel better about yourself, and feel
better about life in general. Finding good self confidence help can be hard.
There are a lot of people that don't know what they're doing. So, how do you
know I am any different? Because I've been there. I've been the guy that can't
ever figure out just how to talk to girls, be the life of the party, or do
great in a job interview.
Then I figured it out. I figured how I could finally be the
confident person that I wanted to be. That is what I am going to share with you
today.
First of all you need to be aware of the fact that getting your
confidence up will take time and work. You aren't going to wake up tomorrow and
be a super confident person getting whatever they want in life. But if you
really want to change, you will put in the time and effort to do it.
The first step you need to take is to start talking to people.
Whenever you see someone in a coffee shop, at school, or wherever, and you want
to talk to them, just do it.
A huge part of getting your confidence up is getting up the courage
to just get stuff done and do it. You are going to have to get over your fears
and just dive right in. In fact if you are feeling nervous about doing
something, it is a good idea to do it.
So, next time you see someone or sit next to someone you want to
talk to, just do it.
After you start doing this for a while, you will find it easier and
easier to talk to people, which is a huge part of getting self confidence. With
practice you will start getting good at talking to people and then you will be
that guy you were always jealous of.
So take these tips on self confidence help and put them into action
today!
Hey my name is Kenny. I run a blog all about how to get your
confidence up. You can get there here -
Prepared by SRS...
